Your feedback needed: Updating our Community Guidelines

[Captain24]

I’m agree with what the other members have written.

My concerns are feel rumination and repetition of posts. I understand it in some instances. However some times our brains are on repeat cycle. Sometimes you feel the same thing for a while. 

With some of these guidelines I don’t believe that I am acceptable of being here. 

[Dimity]

@Captain24 I've been trying not to feel the same way. If taken at face value the new guidelines would rule out a lot of meaningful discussions. But I guess smalltalk would be easier to moderate.

@espressologic says the guidelines are designed to discourage specific problems... in that case I think each guideline should address that specific problem. 

[Captain24]

I’m sorry you feel the same way @Dimity but I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking along those lines. 

Small talk is easier to moderate and less ambiguous so it will make it easier for the Mods

Im all for improving the forums and the community but I feel this could be at the detriment of members. 

[espressologic]

@Dimity @Captain24  I'm keen to understand more about how you think the updated guidelines mean that only small talk will be allowed on the forums.  That is not my understanding of what we have posted, or in any of my follow-ups to questions asked so far.  Please be specific about your concerns, this thread is the opportunity for us to clear up any misunderstandings.

[Shaz51]

hello @espressologic , @Captain24 , @Dimity , @NatureLover , @Appleblossom , @tyme , @PinkFlamingo , @Zoe7 , @Snowie , @Jynx , @Judi9877 , @Anastasia , @MDT , @wellwellwellnez , @Eve7 , @outlander 

My concerns are feel rumination and repetition of posts.

one is when one member asks you for an answer and you answer them , you might have to repeat the message to other members who ask ?

Also I for instance repeat certain sayings to all members across the forum , hope this is not wrong or do I need to include other sayings ?? ( maybe be more personal )

Also about tagging others , do you mean  just tag that member ?

or is it ok to add other members names ( is this putting pressure on them to answer) because that is not my intention at all @espressologic  

[espressologic]

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one is when one member asks you for an answer and you answer them , you might have to repeat the message to other members who ask ?

Also I for instance repeat certain sayings to all members across the forum , hope this is not wrong or do I need to include other sayings ?? ( maybe be more personal )

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If you're engaged in conversations with people and you happen to repeat sayings or advice you've given previously because it is relevant to that conversation, then that is ok.  If you were jumping into threads across the forum and copying and pasting in the same replies without regard for the person or the conversation, then that would be repetition.

Another example here is if you are the person seeking support.  You may start a thread asking for support around something that's happening for you at the moment.  Then you jump into several other threads posting the exact same thing without regard for the conversation going on in that thread - that would be repetition.  

Perhaps a way of thinking about these guidelines would be to imagine that you were in an offline/face-to-face conversation.  At what point would the behaviour start to seem disrespectful, or potentially upsetting for the people you're engaging with?  

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Also about tagging others , do you mean  just tag that member ?

or is it ok to add other members names ( is this putting pressure on them to answer) because that is not my intention at all @espressologic  

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I wouldn't consider tagging people to be putting pressure on.  If you imagine the forum is a big hall with different groups all having conversations in the room, tagging is the digital equivalent of waving at someone and calling them over into your conversation.  

Tagging someone and then saying "why haven't you replied to my post yet?" or "I've noticed that [tag] hasn't responded to me, they obviously don't care" would be examples of putting pressure on someone to answer.  This would apply to other forum members as well as our staff.

Does this make sense?  

[Captain24]

Hi @espressologic 

I’ll do my best to explain what I’m thinking. 

When at a low point the posts can be filled with negative connotations which then can be repetitive just worded in slightly different ways. However this is when members need some support. 

I am currently in a pretty dark place. So my posts are constantly negative and can go around in circles. 

For example; ‘Life is just too hard’. ‘I can’t do today’ ‘I feel hopeless’ ‘I am nothing’ ‘I’ve done something again’

These a just statements that are mentioned in some posts. These can be daily along with more elaboration in the post. But generally it may be a dark post that is very similar daily, while in an episode. 

To me, reading the guidelines, this is a breach. 

I don’t know if I’m being clear enough or making sense. Maybe @Dimity can explain it better. 

[Shaz51]

Thank you @espressologic 

It does make sense 

[espressologic]

Thanks @Captain24 for bringing this up.

Sharing feelings of despair or repetitive negative thoughts is not necessarily a breach of the guidelines. In providing a recovery-oriented space, we are aiming more to prevent a cycle where these thoughts dominate discussions without opening a pathway to support or solutions.

While it’s completely valid to express feelings of distress and seek support, we also invite members to consider how sharing these thoughts might be affecting you. Sometimes, writing about negative feelings can provide relief and a sense of being understood; other times, it might unintentionally reinforce these feelings. It's a delicate balance, and one that only you can truly measure for yourself.

We totally understand that when someone is in a dark place, their way of expressing themselves may not always seem recovery-oriented in the traditional sense. We encourage all members to continue sharing your true feelings.

If you're concerned about the nature of your posts, you might consider framing them with a request for specific types of support or advice, which can help guide the responses you receive.

Another very important piece here from a duty of care perspective is if you are posting about feeling suicidal. More extensive guidance is provided here, but the main message is that we need members to let everyone know when posting that they are currently safe and not intending to act on their thoughts (if this is indeed how you are truly feeling).

If you are not currently safe, i.e., intending to act on your thoughts and cannot stop yourself, then this is an emergency and we would ask you to contact crisis services rather than posting on the forum as we cannot provide immediate support here.

If you post ambiguously, then other members and our staff have no way of knowing what your intentions are and we may be obligated to escalate to emergency services.

I hope this is helpful, please keep asking questions if you're not sure, or let us know how we could more clearly word the guidelines for better understanding.

[Dimity]

Hi @Captain24 sending you cheers a a warm hug... it's hard being in a dark place and i hope you have some glimmers during your day. I know what it's like to be stuck and I'm happy to sit with you however long it takes. For me it's been years.

@espressologic I'll try to address this in detail as you ask, but to be thorough I'll have to repeat some points made earlier.

The brevity and negativity of the guidelines mean they seem overwhelmingly discouraging and disparaging of lived experience.  You've given justifications for some but taken at face value the guidelines seem to mean

The forums are for people with lived experience or carers not supporters or allies.

We don't want to hear from you if you have suicidal ideation, thoughts of self harm or are experiencing family violence.

Don't describe any events or experiences that could be deemed traumatic or abusive.

Don't reflect or describe your thought processes, especially if you're an introvert, as we don't like rumination.

Please report troubling posts as moderators don't take responsibility for monitoring posts.

Don't share the names of services you may have found helpful even if they're community and government services listed in public directories. Don't mention or seek support for indictable behaviours or identify as someone with alcohol or drug dependence or anger management issues.

Take care when tagging people or encouraging participation (no pressure)

...You use the heading "no self-promotion" but I suggest unpacking the content under the heading. In the past the rule under this heading about promotion of research has been  taken out of context and applied more broadly to rule out sharing with peers about government inquiries. And there can be egregious promotion of alternative medicines and New Age products that isn't self-promotion for commercial gain but perhaps self-aggrandisement.

Every statement of fact must be supported by evidence or a link. (See Wikipedia for examples of how to do this. )Take care not to identify people products or services when you do this.

Please don't raise any problem issue or feeling more than once, we get tired of hearing it. Yawn. Just go away.

Just stick to light social chitchat and banter. It's what we're promoting as the purpose of the Forums after all - connection and chat.