Supporting those with undiagnosed DID

[LH1734]

Hi everyone,

I'm reaching out to ask for support, advice, or resources that might help me better support a family member who we believe may be living with undiagnosed Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). We're trying to approach everything with compassion, care, and deep respect for their autonomy and lived experience — but sometimes it’s hard to know what’s truly helpful.

If you have lived experience, support someone with DID, or know of any helpful tools, books, websites, or communities, I’d be so grateful if you could share.

We’re especially looking for support around:

• Tips for communicating gently and respectfully with different parts/alters

• Creating a sense of safety and predictability at home

• Responding supportively during switches or distress

• Understanding how to support functional plurality — any advice, examples, or practices that help a system work together and build internal cooperation

• Any inclusive, trauma-informed resources for learning more

Thanks in advance for anything you're willing to share. I truly appreciate your time and experience. We just want to be as supportive and informed as we can be, while also giving our loved one room to define their own experience.

[Till23]

Hi @LH1734 

Does the person see a mental health professional or is willing to do so? I would advise getting trained mental health input, because dissociation is a spectrum and DID is at one end, but within DID there is variation. There are also other things that can have some similar symptoms, so I would think getting a diagnosis will lead to the correct treatment and better outcome.

General resource for trauma is Blue Knot Foundation who deal with childhood trauma. They have a website which has a lot of information and also run webinars

A good resource book for DID is

Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists by 

Kathy Steele, Onno Van der Hart, and Suzette Boon

Another one is:

Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation
Book by Janina Fisher

Perhaps somebody else on here will have some insights or good resources or different opinion

[mimosasys]

Hiya, we're a system ourselves with some form of undiagnosed plurality so can give some advice or at least try to.

Mostly it's just extremely important to talk to the people there and take them seriously, actually asking them about what they'd want going forward and just treating them like anyone else you'd talk to. Communication is a huge thing, at least for us, so absolutely don't shy away from just asking what would help support them better if you haven't already.

For us personally a big thing is having each of us treated as our own people and not as all parts of one larger whole (core?) identity. This does differ from system to system though, so again just ask.

We do also want to say that mental health support is of course possible even if DID and other plurality is (for some reason) a controversial topic. There are at least some therapists out there who'll take their identities seriously and not force them into anything they won't feel comfortable doing.

Really it's just important to be tolerant of how they're going to go through their life differently to most other people and to take it seriously when it needs to be. Absolutely get to know the people that share that body like you would with anyone else.

Oh, and a reminder that if they're online a lot that there's a lot of discourse and infighting about plurality, specifically on tiktok (again, no idea why) which at least makes us really uncomfortable so it's probably best to stay away from that sort of thing and learn to accept their plurality first, because really those spaces are just full of bullying and nobody likes that. There's a lot of misinformation and stuff out there so stay aware of anything that tries to de-validate anyone's experience of plurality, we're all in this together. Impostor syndrome and doubt is of course a part of the process though.

If you've got any questions about plurality and that sort of thing we'd be happy to answer them 🙂 Hope we've helped at least a little!

- Flowers