Lived Experience Forum

[lavenderhaze]

Hey @D1ng0,

I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. It's absolutely not okay for anyone to receive such hateful and hurtful messages. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to deal with all that, especially when you're already dealing with so much.

It's clear that you're incredibly strong and resilient, even though it might not feel like it right now. Your self-awareness and confidence in who you are despite all the negativity thrown your way is truly inspiring. You are valid and deserving of love and respect just like anyone else and it's truly upsetting that someone can just disregard that. It's completely understandable to feel anxious and isolated after receiving such awful messages. Please know that you're not alone in this. There are people in this community who care about you and want to support you through this tough time.
I am glad that you have reached out here and shared. Even just talking about how you're feeling can make a big difference. We're here for you. ❤️
I hope you've blocked this person. Is it possible to report it somehow? 
I found this online - https://www.esafety.gov.au/report

Also, please have a lookout for an email, just want to check in with you 🙂

[D1ng0]

Hey @lavenderhaze, thank you for the support. It is really hard to deal with. I definitely don't feel strong or resilient at the moment, so your reassurances are very appreciated. You are right though, I am completely confident in who I am... It's nice to have that set in stone, even if bigots will always exist 😅

It definitely does feel good to have access to this mental health space, and I'm glad I made a post about the harassment. The sooner I can feel better about it, the less real estate this person has in my mind lol

Yeah, I've blocked the person. I'm not sure about eSafety, I've looked into it a few times before and I think the bar can be pretty high for what they deem worthy of investigating. I don't know if suicide baiting and indirect threats would qualify, although direct death threats would, for example. But I'll give it another look when I feel up to it.

Thank you, I will check my email 😊

[LilMapleLeaf]

@D1ng0 

Wow. That is not okay. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that, that is absolutely awful. I don't understand the hate some people are filled with they just can't allow other people to be happy.

You do not deserve any of that hatred and it is not an indicator of any part of you. The only thing it indicates is the hate the other person is filled with. I can not believe some people feel it's okay to do something like that. 

This behaviour is not okay. If you feel up to it you have every right to report this behaviour as what they have done is illegal and abusive. As part of the online safety act, it is illegal to post harmful content which includes mental harm. If you want to report it just use this link https://www.esafety.gov.au/report/what-you-can-report-to-esafety 

Again, I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. Some people are just plain nasty. I hope you've been able to have some self care today

[D1ng0]

Hey @LilMapleLeaf, thank you for the compassion, I appreciate it. I'll give the eSafety guidelines a closer read once the emotional dust has settled. After what recently happened when an Australian trans man reported abuse on Twitter, I don't know if I can be bothered putting my mental wellbeing in the hands of regulators, as the landscape of the law doesn't seem very robust or effective when it comes to this type of hate speech.

Yeah, I'm not sure why some people just suddenly come out of the woodwork with slurs and personal attacks, especially when their hostility is directed at someone who has never actually harmed them personally, and is instead just living life as an out trans person... I've never really understood what the reasoning is, why the action of leaving hate messages would be worth it. I guess it must be a rush of some kind, if someone has nothing else to get their kicks from? Or it's just plain hatred and disgust. I dunno. Either way, it's pretty pathetic 😅

[LilMapleLeaf]

@D1ng0 

Wow. I genuinely had no idea that had happened. Just read about it. My goodness... I have no words (well no words which I should say online) but that is atrocious. I think you are acting incredibly wise to spend some time letting the emotional dust settle. Not sure I would act with the same wisdom if I was in your position.

I just think they are so full of hatred and sadness that they want others down on their level. Its such childish behaviour, seriously.

[NatureLover]

Hi @D1ng0 , how are you feeling this morning? I hope that you feel a bit comforted that you have people on your side 🫂

[D1ng0]

Hey @NatureLover, thanks very much for asking. I still feel quite depressed, but I'm getting on with work, and it is reassuring to read through this thread again and see people's solidarity, yours included 😊

I don't know if other people feel this way, I would be curious to know... sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with so much, yet everyone in my life seems to forget that. Depression, anxiety, bulimia, chronic pain, and other (private) things, with this harassment on top... But I just have to get on with it. Dealing with multiple mental illnesses increasingly feels like putting in so, so much work just to function, but nobody's seeing that work, they're just expecting me to keep functioning. If I don't, I've failed to want recovery enough. It's really frustrating. Do other people feel this way really strongly, like I do?

[NatureLover]

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@D1ng0 wrote:

Dealing with multiple mental illnesses increasingly feels like putting in so, so much work just to function, but nobody's seeing that work, they're just expecting me to keep functioning. If I don't, I've failed to want recovery enough. It's really frustrating. Do other people feel this way really strongly, like I do?

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Hi @D1ng0 , yes, I do. I have 6 MIs plus several chronic physical illnesses and trauma - it's so hard to juggle them all, and they are exhausting. 

I feel for you...you are carrying so much and doing so well. I'm just so sorry you have this abuse directed at you on top of it all 😢

[D1ng0]

Thank you @NatureLover for the empathy. It's really reassuring to hear from people who get it. Gives me hope, but it's also just plain nice to feel that kindness. Thank you for recognising the behind-the-scenes work, and acknowledging how awful the abuse is. I know I won't get that kindness from certain people in my life (mainly certain family members) so it feels all the more valuable when I receive it here.

[8ppleTree]

Hey @D1ng0 

Just popping by to say it was not nice to read of your hurt and abuse, but that the supportive sentiments offered were lovely and true. I also echo them. I hope you're feeling a bit steadier now? 

Choosing to hold onto our internal peace and compass despite our challenges is really hard, and very important. It would be nice if others understood what we carried. What our choices sometimes cost us. But ultimately, the peace and the intentions you hold can be felt. Continue to be proud of who you are. You deserve every bit of real estate in your own head, heart, and life! 

From a fellow ally x