Lived Experience Forum

[Olivia1971]

I've had a harassment and bullying scenario over three years now.  It has impacted on me at work, in the community, in my intimate relationship and at home via my neighbour.

I've made some complaints to the police and I've got legal advice.

I've been seeing my psychiatrist fortnightly through all this and I have been taking medication.

No one takes me very seriously.  They think it's just my mental health / it's all in my head / I'm hearing voices / I'm misunderstanding etc

I'm so frustrated.  I'm no doubting that this has impacted on my mental health however, there is still a harassment issue.

[Itsjustme1]

Hey @Olivia1971 I’m itsjustme1. Over the last 3 years also I’ve been experiencing a lot more harassment as you call it, it’s happening at work, on the way to work and if I go out. Not all the time, but enough so that’s an issue. I’ve been self medicating to help, which is not the right thing or right course of action, but it helps me. Not saying you should.

and my parents in all this thinks it will just blow over, like it’s magically going to stop happening. A recent, well 3 years almost, med change was and is the reason I suspect for this to start happening to me.

I’ve been belittled, had micro aggressions towards me, some one put their n*ts on me, been bumped into 50+ times over the period of 3-6 months. And other trivial problems arising by morons. I’ve just accepted I can’t do anything to change the behavior of others, though it ruminates and brings me down sometimes, with support from family, I just push forward. Hoping for a med change soon, maybe might help, but that’s what got me into this situation.

Im just content at sitting at home for now.

[Mk333]

Hi @Olivia1971   @Itsjustme1 

I have been through the same/similar

To add a few things.

I am not a Solicitor. Absorb what l say, but get legal advice.

Correct me if l am wrong and do not be offended

"I've made some complaints to the police and I've got legal advice."

The only way to be affective with Police is to document time, day what happened. To use a voice recorder legally, the other person has to know it is being recorded. Same with video. 

Without this proof it is a "He said She said" situation.

What legal advice did you get?

Often it is a personal protection order. Because yours is at work it would make it too hard for the company you work with to implement.

You may think they do not take you seriously because you need the facts. Sadly this situation is common and they may take you seriously but have no power without evidence to do anything.

Often bullies do not think what they are doing is wrong. They have a different moral compass.

An intetesting comment from @Itsjustme1  is  "Cannot change the behaviour of others. Its just me"

100% spot on. We cannot change the ways others are. We can change the way we react. With mine, courts and police could not stop them. So l could not. Ignore it. Hard to do. Well it is harder when you engage.

Walk away. Be the strong one.

Mine went on for 10 years. First 4 years was hard. I joined a Good Church. The bible changed my outlook. It is not for everyone. But l think we all need a good anchor to support us against these horrible people.

You may wonder why you do not get support at the time. Often because many do not like upsetting bullies.

i hope you support victims / survivors when you see it happening

You are frustrated. Well life is not fair especially when laws do not help and i feel your frustration.

[Itsjustme1]

@Mk333 What bullying is at its core is indifference, they think they’re the majority and we have to obide by social norms. 

I don’t personally see how a bully is superior, but that’s just me, I know most normal people would tend to agree but they might just stay quiet to avoid the bully themselves as stated by you.

it’s really a sad circumstance that we had to ordeal, I’m searching for my happy still, and have days of it, but then just goes back to what it is I’m struggling with, same $hit different day scenario.

I’ve gotten some legal advice recently also but they just say go for a walk when feeling overwhelmed.

looking back, all I can say is it’s indifference, people tend to judge a book by its cover… I know for 100% that is not the case with me, but I too judge a book by its cover, and I’m usually right so a paradox.

[Mk333]

@Itsjustme1   @Olivia1971 

Itsjustme1

A bully is not superior. But few support the one being bullied. That is why they feel superior.

We have to help others when we can, if we can.

I agree, many fear the bully so accumalate around them.

Lawyers are expensive and cannot change others behaviour.

I spent 10 years with Barristers and Solicitors. The bullies harass others and are still in court but sort of leave me now. Like crazy drivers. We will never get them all off the road.

I also deal with same sh#t, different days.

But l stand firm. They do not want Police any more.

I ignore them and what they say.

My warning to you both. I had great support for 8 years from a friend. She broke down after 8 years. She saw the effort i went to and Police and Courts cannot make someone comply. So be careful with your support crew.

LifeLine is mine when l need a vent.

Sane is good reading from affected people.

We are not alone. Our situations are similar. Bad people. No Justice.

Never judge others until you ask them their side. Never. The quiet types attract me for a chat.

[Mk333]

 @Itsjustme1 @  @Olivia1971 

Please respect your supporters.

I did not realise how hard it was on my supporter until she could not lusten any more.

8 years. Amazing.

Lifelinevand Sane do not tire.

Give your friends a rest

[NatureLover]

@Olivia1971  I'm sorry to hear 😞

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@Olivia1971 wrote:

No one takes me very seriously.  They think it's just my mental health / it's all in my head / I'm hearing voices / I'm misunderstanding etc

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Can you film every interaction with the bully on your phone?