Lived Experience Forum

[Bow]

It’s not terrible @Jynx ! But not great either. But are passport photos ever decent?! My very first one was horrendous! Looked like I was on drugs. Was looking at D’s old one yesterday and she was so little back then! 

your mowhawk a big one?!

people can sure change a lot in 10yrs! Passports are so expensive now days though… and so are the photos! 

@Snowie  that sounds cool. Did you use to dance yourself? Does D dance? 

[ArraDreaming]

@Jynxshe is pretty crook but it is not catchable so I guess that is a good thing right

Ahh yeah, she probs wouldn’t appreciate me sharing her situation to the world but she pretty much does whatever she wants whenever she wants even though she’s a mum now and has a baby to care for, she’s on stuff and won’t listen to anyone
It’s not new though been going on for a while
Sad to watch
Trying to compartmentalise, I have a healthy family in my household we are safe and good parents I just need to focus on my little family… I have tried to support her many many times but now I’m kind of just throwing my hands in the air like, well, I tried. Cant lead a horse to water or something like that.
Sad for the kid though, wish I could do more, my culture says to do more and to help each other out, we look after family we raise each other kids and all that, but my mental health mate is stressed out with 3 I got…. And money. All of that. you know, can’t really
So yeah, that’s been on my mind for a bit, bringing up a lot of feelings around mum, and recently had our own experience with a certain government department which was a mind fuck and a half
We are ok and I’m doing well… but yeah, sister not so much, and my capacity is pretty limited…. Gotta focus on the kids in front of me first

[ArraDreaming]

Sorry to take over this thread with that heavy info… 😨

[ArraDreaming]

Left over spag bol, and toast @Jynx

[ArraDreaming]

we believe in kinship and it makes my stomach churn to turn my back on family but you gotta protect yourself sometimes

[Snowie]

@Jynx I do enjoy volunteering. I did it myself growing up and used to coach it for about 15 years. Now I just mainly do things more in the background.

@Bow I used to do it myself and so did my mum, so it goes back a few generations. D does it too and has since she was young. She really enjoys it too.

[Bow]

Totally @ArraDreaming  of course ya gotta look after your own and yourself too!

[ArraDreaming]

Absolutely @Bow the time and effort I have spent supporting her and the rest of my sibs, I will burn out if I do that again, gotta be realistic
Done it my whole  life for them now need to focus on me and my own kids and family

[Jynx]

@ArraDreaming oh wow, yeah there's only so much we can do sometimes, I'm sorry it's so difficult with her but glad you are recognising that you gotta compartmentalise it all sometimes. I've had to draw similar boundaries with some of my family, cos you're right - can lead the horse to water, but can't make it go and get mental health support even if it's needed. I think accessing MH support is always more effective if it is the person's own decision/desire, too.

Maybe you could frame it differently for yourself? Not so much 'turning your back on kin' and more 'focusing on immediate kin and their needs first, and not getting too involved with her stuff, but not closing the door on her either', ya know?

@Snowie aww cool, yeah it's so rewarding when you can see how your efforts can create opportunities for fun and fitness for folks! Love it 😊

[Jynx]

@Bow haha yeah I dunno that anyone looks awesome having to like, stare deadpan at the camera and not allowed any expression! Daww, you should deffo keep the old passport and she can keep it to see her growth! I do that with my old driver's licences all the time haha. 

Nah it's just little! I can't be arsed doing my hair up with product every day, so it stays short enough that it spikes up on its own, so it looks more like this: 

 

and not so much this: