Lived Experience Forum

[Jupiter]

Hi there @Snowie! Sorry you've had a hard day. Not sure what you mean by "did something silly and paying for it now" but hope you are safe. Please let us know if not. Take care. 

[Snowie]

I am safe for now @Jupiter 

[Eve7]

Sorry to hear that @Snowie . I had to get some dressings done at GP

[Snowie]

Sorry to hear that @Eve7 

I hope all is as ok as it can be 💗💗

[Eve7]

Thanks. I’ll be ok @Snowie  I really do want to be well again.

Big squishy hugs for you my buddy 💛🤗💛

[Eve7]

Do you have any plans for tomorrow @Snowie ?

[Snowie]

I feel more comfortable writing here instead of taking over someone else's thread. I don't expect any replies, I just want to get my thoughts down.

It is hard to talk about SI and SH here or anywhere. I am scared that if I talk about it then someone will turn up at my door. I don't want that, especially not in front of my children.

But I wonder why I bother to try any more. I feel that I try and do what my psych and pdoc tell me yet it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. I take my meds, I try different things yet every day seems to be getting harder and the strength and engery to get through each day seems to be lacking. I wonder when enough is enough. Give into my thoughts and I won't be suffering no more. The pain will be gone.

[Eve7]

Sitting with you @Snowie because I get it, I really do.

Love you 

💙💜💙

[Jynx]

Hey @Snowie, I'm glad you feel able to be vulnerable and share with us where you're at. I think you're right, it can be really difficult to talk about these things with the systems that are currently in place. I like to hope that one day we might reach a time where if someone is rocking up at my door because I disclosed intent to suicide, that person would be a trained, caring clinician, or a lived-experience worker who can come and sit with me through that crisis moment, rather than having to be scared that I would be involuntarily taken into a mental health ward and potentially traumatised further. 

I really hear that you are feeling exhausted with the process of trying to stay alive. I've seen you fighting this fight for years, and have also been blown away by your passion and commitment (as well as your kind heart of course). I know that words alone aren't sufficient to take this pain away from you, but I hope that you know we are all behind you 100%, and I sincerely believe that you can make it through this. 
I'll leave you with this little pic, hoping it will bring even one tiny smile to you this evening 

We all need rest sometimes - even from working on our mental health.

[Anastasia]

I'm here with you @Snowie 

Beautifully put @Jynx you are so lovely and SANE is lucky to have you x