Lived Experience Forum

[saltandpepper]

I hear you @Appleblossom I'm glad you've been able to get that insight into your father and it's helped to make some sense of things. I hope you'll find all the missing pieces eventually. Thanks for dropping in, it's been a while since I've seen you around 👍

[AussieRecharger]

@SJT63 

That was a lot to share.. Thank you and I think I will give you some space before replying.  I hope you have a good night and no tears are shed. 

[Oaktree]

@saltandpepper 

Let me start by saying that I am so sorry that bad things happened to you as a child. That is not your fault even if you think you could have prevented it but didn't.

Things happened to me too but I have emotionally distanced myself from the memories, it's almost as if they happened to someone else. I don't know why but I let things happen when I was old enough to know better. I also did things that I am not proud of. I guess I just thought it was all normal. I don't know? I am going to be starting trauma therapy with a psychologist in the next 6 weeks and I am scared of the memories it might dredge up. I am scared of feeling the hurt and emotions of my vulnerable child so I do any kind of maladaptive coping mechanisms to avoid those feelings.

Meggle

[saltandpepper]

Hey @Oaktree great work taking the leap to start seeing a psychologist. Go slow, make sure you're comfortable with them and make sure they are trauma informed.

Psychologists shouldn't pressure you into dealing with or facing anything you aren't ready to deal with. And in my case we spent about a year working on techniques to deal with trauma before actually addressing anything.

Good luck on your journey @Oaktree 

[Oaktree]

Thanks @saltandpepper 

I have seen this psychologist off and on for the last two years (approximately) - we were leading up to the trauma work last year but my health became too bad to continue and so we took a break. I am currently waiting on a space to resume therapy but the idea of trauma therapy and imagery rescripting terrifies me. I really don't know how it will go but I think long term it is what I need to do even if it's scary.

Meggle

[saltandpepper]

Take it slow @Oaktree go with what you're comfortable with. And that might change week to week, that's OK. It's a process 

[saltandpepper]

Tonight's greatest challenge: I seem to have lost the ability to remove my own jumper without assistance. 

[Anastasia]

I'm sorry I didn't see your new thread until now, and here I was too wrapped up in my own stuff to look 💔. I hope you are sleeping soundly buddy 🙏

You're one of the bravest people I"know"

@saltandpepper 

[saltandpepper]

I'm OK @Anastasia the toughest part is over, I made it out of my jumper. Ha. I kid.

Don't you worry about me, you take good care of yourself and I'll be here for you if you need a chat today 

[saltandpepper]

Morning folks 👋 I just wanted to give a shout out to everyone who dropped into this thread yesterday @AussieRecharger @Emelia8 @SJT63 @Mazarita @Lilaca @NatureLover @Appleblossom @Oaktree @Anastasia 

Last night I couldn't sleep, but while I was lying there in bed my heart felt full. I thought about this thread and all the love and support everyone shared with me yesterday and it filled me with this warmth. I felt happiness like I haven't felt in the longest time. From the bottom of my heart, thank you forum friends 🙏