Yes, you’re very right @creative_writer 💜 trauma can and does feel that way, and it’s really challenging to turn that into something else 💜🌺
part of the humiliation and grossness in my own trauma experience was not having anyone to talk to about it, to give me a different perspective, and help me learn that I wasn’t responsible nor did I have any reason to carry that humiliation and gross feeling, while putting on a facade of emotional perfection with the damage just below the surface.
Gently, I think your experiences will be a great asset to you in your work, because you will have those crucial extra perspectives that other people just don’t know and can’t recognise 💜🌺
I wondered if social work has supervision as you enter the workforce and continue in your career? For now, as I’m back at uni, I have got myself an external mentor that I chat with - she has experience with her own trauma, and we chat about how this impacts on us, and she shares strategies with me on how she copes. I also have joined the peak body association for the profession in my area of study, as a student member, and they have some really great resources for using your trauma as an asset behind working with people, to add perspective to therapeutic engagement.
However, I do see the difficulty in finding that place where trauma can be useful, when it is still very distressing… it took me some years to get to that point. And I still have days where my cptsd takes over.
I hope this is helpful in some way, and as always, gently holding space for you 🙂💜🌺
