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Something’s not right

Not Coping

Re: Not Coping

Oh no I’m sorry @ENKELI 

Oh well I’ve already told him how I feel. I’m not sure if you’ve seen the post. 
my day has been good. I’ve done some study and made fried rice. 
im feeling flat though now. 
no it’s not my friend @Former-Member 

I’m just sad. Depressed. It’s just hard. It hits whenever it wants. Yesterday was a good day. Now it’s not. 

Re: Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8 I hope you enjoyed the lamb shanks.

@Former-Member trauma can feel so humiliating. It’s hard not to feel damaged and gross. I don’t know how I’m going to cope when I go in the social work profession if I am struggling with my own stuff

Re: Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8 no I haven't seen the post. I'll have a look for it x

Re: Not Coping

I take it you haven't heard back from him? @Birdofparadise8 

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Not Coping

Oh, I’m sorry to hear that @Birdofparadise8 💜🌺

it’s hard when depression comes like that 💜

Please do remember that even though you’re feeling down, we still care about you and you have great value as a person 💜🙂🌺

Re: Not Coping

I didn’t have lamb shanks @creative_writer 

I had chicken legs and fried rice.
yeah he did I have a play by play in a post. @ENKELI 

Thanks @Former-Member 

I don’t know why this has just come on. My day has been okay. It’s not like I’ve done anything different earlier to now. 
I just want this to go away. I want to be better. 
I know you care about me. You all do and it means the world to me. Thank you 

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Not Coping

Yes, you’re very right @creative_writer  💜 trauma can and does feel that way, and it’s really challenging to turn that into something else 💜🌺

part of the humiliation and grossness in my own trauma experience was not having anyone to talk to about it, to give me a different perspective, and help me learn that I wasn’t responsible nor did I have any reason to carry that humiliation and gross feeling, while putting on a facade of emotional perfection with the damage just below the surface. 
Gently, I think your experiences will be a great asset to you in your work, because you will have those crucial extra perspectives that other people just don’t know and can’t recognise 💜🌺

I wondered if social work has supervision as you enter the workforce and continue in your career? For now, as I’m back at uni, I have got myself an external mentor that I chat with - she has experience with her own trauma, and we chat about how this impacts on us, and she shares strategies with me on how she copes. I also have joined the peak body association for the profession in my area of study, as a student member, and they have some really great resources for using your trauma as an asset behind working with people, to add perspective to therapeutic engagement. 
However, I do see the difficulty in finding that place where trauma can be useful, when it is still very distressing… it took me some years to get to that point. And I still have days where my cptsd takes over. 
I hope this is helpful in some way, and as always, gently holding space for you 🙂💜🌺

Re: Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8 I read the post hon. I was wondering if he'd replied to your last comment, 

You're probably feeling a little flat because the conversation you had with your friend was unfulfilled. He hasn't replied and maybe the outcome wasn't what you wanted.

Sunday night has always been a low period for me. It was always, great back to work tomorrow which I would often dread at my last workplace and now it's like I have nothing to do besides keep looking for jobs. It's frustrating and depressing. 

Re: Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8 my bad. I hope you enjoyed the chicken and rice.

@Former-Member maybe the taboo around it made the feelings of shame more intense. The first person I told was my mum, I think she was way too shocked and confused to know how to respond. So it made more sense to keep it in. It did take me a while to open up to other people in my life and even seek therapy for it. Strange thing is, I was actually in therapy when the trauma was happening but never said anything. It was a very chaotic time in my life, when my mood disorder was far from being under control. I wasn’t myself a lot of the time. We do get supervision with placement, I’ll just need to see how comfortable I feel with my supervisor. My next placement is MH based. I’m interested in MH, but I do realise it can be hard with my own struggles, so I’ll need to take care of myself.

I am glad to hear things have become easier for you 💖💖💖
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Not Coping

Yeah, I can totally understand that @Birdofparadise8 💜🌺

What stands out amongst the pain of what you’re currently experiencing is your words 

 

I want to be better 

 

which is a testament to your determination despite feeling crappy at the moment, and shows real hope for change 🙂💜🌺

 

so proud of you for this dearest 🫂🌺

And it’s a pleasure 🙂💜

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