Therapy without talking about trauma details

[tyme]

Hey hun @creative_writer , I hear you. I feel a bit that way in terms of needing emotional relief. What works for you? At the moment, I'm connecting with members on the forums, but I also question, is it just a distraction, and the tears come later? IDK.

I'm here if you need a chat.

@Just , so good to hear from you. I look forward to hearing how you go this year 🙂

[creative_writer]

@tyme sometimes my brain just wants to easy way out even if it’s not good in the long run. But do I really want to develop substance related issues when I already have other things going on too? It hurts to resist because I know it’ll take the pain away for a bit, though it could potentially trigger mania and insomnia. I would take mania (as long as it’s not mixed) over this. At times like this I understand why my Uncle with bipolar was such a heavy smoker. I used to judge him when I was younger.

Right now I’m just doing the regular evening stuff. Just had dinner, prayed. I am also sitting in front of the fan, the heat isn’t helping. My parents have air con but I just want to be alone right now. I am also on the forums

[Just]

@tyme the distraction is good if it's what your seeking out for yourself and not just feeling like you should help others. Please don't cry. You make me cry.

[tyme]

Hey @creative_writer , do what you need to. Also, please don't feel pressured to respond if you don't feel up to it and you prefer to be left alone. I get that too sometimes. Please just know we are here for you.

@Just , I had my good cry yesterday. I've had my meds so hopefully, by the time I hop off tonight, I'll be tired and ready to sleep. Here's some hugs for you - HUGS HUGS HUGS.

[creative_writer]

@tyme being on the forums might help me feel better. I just don’t feel like connecting to people in person right now. Maybe I’m too tired of having to pretend to be okay. I feel too tired to physically talk too, and my throat is sore so I’m saving my voice. You know what I’m tired of, I’m tired of pretending that I’m okay when I’m not. But there is no other way. Pretending takes a toil on you eventually. If only I could let the steam out more regularly, maybe life wouldn’t feel this hard

[tyme]

I hear that. I'll have plenty of it later this week when I travel interstate to see my parents and family. I probably won't go to many family functions with cousins... too much socialising @creative_writer 

But yeah, the masking is exhausting!

[creative_writer]

@tyme I think it’s wise to know your limits. Socialising can be exhausting when you’re masking.

I’ve cleared out my nose, feeling a bit better afterwards, it’s easier to get oxygen in.

My mind keeps going back to the last. I don’t even know what I need. I think it’s Scrupulosity OCD type thinking. Feeling unworthy, disgusting, immoral. Even though I haven’t done anything wrong

[tyme]

I sure hear you @creative_writer . Intrusive, unhelpful thoughts?

[creative_writer]

@tyme yes there are intrusive and unhelpful thought. It’s hard to shake them off. My brain believes that since people don’t feel comfortable talking about it, then I must have done something wrong

[tyme]

Human brains are such strange things... they've developed to tell us lies sometimes as a way to...cope?

@creative_writer  You are such a battler