Skip to main content
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Welcome & getting started

ThenextStep
New Contributor

Mum first psychotic episode

My mum (51) is currently having her first ever psychotic episode.
I have so many mixed feelings as I mislead her to get her into the hospital to get her help and now she is on a psyc hold and won't be released until she is better (that's ok with my but I still feel terrible and am saddened by this so much so) 

Theu aren't too sure why this is either her heavy drinking or pot smoking or another reason but I'm left feeling so low and downright horrible. 
We have an interesting relationship and I didn't have the best childhood with mum as she was heavy in the drug scene on heroin and speed. 
 
I have rescued her from so many situations over the last 10 years or so her partners beating her, giving birth to my little sister with fetal alcohol syndrome multiple heart conditions and passing away at 2 yrs old she was in my care in 2015,  her being in ICU after crashing her car while being drunk while my sister was in hospital, breaking her shoulder while drunk, breaking her neck at C1 and almost being a paraplegic in October last yr and various other breaks and accidents but this I can't help her with I can't heal her I can't fix her I can't do anything and I think that's what's killing me inside. 

Help please. 
How can I help her, how can I help me. 
I know I sound selfish and I might just be but I my self have several mental health issues physical health issues including cancer, 4 kids, 1 with ASD, ADHD, ODD, SPD. 
Im trying to run my own business better myself, my kids and provide us with things I never had an opportunity to have. 

sorry. This has been a bit of a vent for me too. So things are a bit disjointed. 

7 REPLIES 7

Re: Mum first psychotic episode

It sound like you have cared for your mum for a very long time. It also seem that you are very harsh on yourself. I wonder if these, self compassion, mindfulness meditations would be helpful. https://self-compassion.org/ and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ9wGfwE-YE

Re: Mum first psychotic episode

@ThenextStep you have done far more for her than most would in your situation. There's really not a lot you can do to help until she takes responsibility for herself and actually wants to make those changes in her life. She has made the choices in her life that have brought her to this point, it's not on you to fix this. In my opinion anyway.

Re: Mum first psychotic episode

Hello @ThenextStep 

Oh my goodness, you have done so much for your Mum, and now hopefully she will get help from the dr's and nurses.

I just want to give you a hug, you've had it tough. Whilst your mum is in hospital can you use this time to care for yourself and your children? I think it's your time now to look after yourself. 

Re: Mum first psychotic episode

Psychotic episode management is generally a full time sort of job. I think you made your only play. It's also a good thing to not take that kind of decision lightly. I think you're doing all the right things.

 

Also, a good time to be communicating. That way the people you're supporting understand how to best support you as well.

Re: Mum first psychotic episode

You have done all the 'mothering' to your mum. It is suppose to be the other way around. You have loved, nurtured, protected and cared for her as well as your precious little sister.

Your mum is where she needs to be.

Please don't take this the wrong way as I've been in the situation under different circumstances so I mean it in an extremely supportive way; but you have to stop supporting her as when we do this we are enabling their behaviour to continue with us as their safety net.

She has help now and she needs to take responsibility for her life.

You NEED to care for YOU so that you can be the happy, healthy role model mum you want for your children and also for you.

Go and look in the mirror and say.. ' I deserve happiness' because you do.

And take some strength knowing your precious beautiful sister is now happy and healthy and proud of you as she watchs over you. (I believe)

You are a beautiful person.

 

Re: Mum first psychotic episode

@ThenextStep 

Your story would have been extremely tough to live through, at all stages. A Heroic Journey. I have had difficulty with taking the responsibility for arranging hospitalisation of close family members, and drawing boundaries in dealing with psychotic episodes happening around my children.  Its totally heart breaking and bamboozling.

 

I am glad a few people related to your post.  Hope you get some sense of support from sharing here and joining the community.

Take Care 

Apple

Smiley Happy

Re: Mum first psychotic episode

Wow you have been through so much. You are amazing.

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance

Search Mental Health Carers NSW