Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[scruffypuffball]

@Jynx 

yeah, i see your point I worded it badly, I rush through these comments.  Let me fix:

Not all mentally ill people or ppl with PD lack insight.  Some are very aware, and are capable of self reflection and change. (it is just with say narcissists - it is rare for them to self reflect).  BTW what is the difference between self reflection and insight?

[Jynx]

@scruffypuffball Yeah for sure. 

I think to me, the difference is that one is a practice, one is a skill. Self-reflection requires active probing, like asking yourself difficult questions and trying to be honest with the answers. Insight is the skill you develop by practicing self-reflection - the more you practice, the better you get at having insight into yourself and your thoughts and behaviours. What do you reckon? 

[scruffypuffball]

@Jynx 

Yes, your reply would be useful for @Needhope to hear as well.

I dont have a psych background just life experience.  I was friends with an undiagnosed BPD for 20 years.  Also had narcissists and psychopaths in the family (diagnosed).  They say BPD is the least worst of all the PDs.  Like it was mentioned above they do feel bad when they hurt someone (I saw that in my friend).  They are not malicious like psychopaths (no capacity for remorse).  They dont seek out to hurt people, just their emotions get the better of them.  Like the above threads have said you need boundaries against them to manage it.

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi again @Needhope ,

Sorry it’s taken so long to get back to you. When triggered, no, it was always everyone else’s fault. Then the self hatred comes in, the self harm thoughts surface, the impulsive behaviour begins.

I actually had a BPD episode tonight. I’ll speak about it in Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script . I’ll tag you there.

[Lm88]

Hi,

I’m new to the forum. I don’t have any answers for you, but I understand what your going through. My daughter suffers from bpd and addiction issues. I’m doing my best to look after her and care for my 3 year grand daughter. The girls live with me and navigating the mood swings and rages while trying to shield the little one is sooooo exhausting . I walk around on egg shells all day. On the upside I do catch glimpses of the warm , loving beautiful young woman that my daughter was before she became so unwell ( it makes me sad sometimes because I miss her so much) . Hopefully with the right treatment her life (and ours) will improve. Sorry I can’t help but I do understand how hard things must be for you. 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Lm88 @Needhope ,

I wanted to say hi and check in with how things are going for you.

I just want to tell you to keep hanging in there. I recognise it is hard. I’m speaking from a borderline’s perspective and I know that if I didn’t have people who believed in me, I wouldn’t be here today.

BPD recovery is absolutely possible. It is such a rewarding and eye opening journey for the borderline, but I recognise how stressful it can be for on lookers.

my greatest advice is to set clear boundaries and stick to them. A borderline will do what they can to test these boundaries. Yet boundaries secretly keep a borderline safe. A yes is yes and a no is no. If you stick to this, then they learn they can trust your word. (Borderlines already have a lot of mistrust).

Please tag me into your replies by adding @ to the front of my name. I might not get back to you immediately, but I will respond between the eventful parts of my full BPD life (in a good way).

Recovery IS possible.