Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[TideisTurning]

Hey @Healandlove, 

I just wanted to stop by. I have had the experience of loved ones joining sessions with a support professional as a one-off. For me, this has centred around working together to help my loved one better understand what might be going on for me, and sometimes also, what is possible for my loved one in terms of supporting me. I have also had these kinds of sessions talked about as a possibility for other loved ones too when they are struggling to understand.

I find it can be helpful and supportive for me to have conversations in these spaces where my support professional is able to provide more context from their knowledge or reassurance and clarification to my loved one (and me), and to assist with facilitating the conversation. My loved ones did not impinge, because I invited them into the space for that single session and the focus remained on what was going on for me. I really like having this as an option up my sleeve if I feel it might be needed. I hope that helps, but as others have said, it is completely your choice. 

[Healandlove]

@TideisTurning @tyme @amber22 @Shaz51 , @PinkFlamingo thank you so much for your thoughts

@TideisTurning is so helpful to know your experience.  Just as an update we discussed it with our marriage psychologist. She said that it's a good idea as long as I was okay with it. She asked my husband what would be the purpose and he said he wants to make sure he doesn't miss communicate the therapist words and he is keen for me to go. Having read your experience @TideisTurning , this reinforces my desire to go. I asked my husband if there was anything he didn't feel comfortable with me discussing in front of his therapist and he said no. 

And so and the Easter long weekend comes, I am feeling sad due to the wider family estrangement due to my husband.  However I am going to aim to have as good a time celebrating with my little family.  I also have a phone call with my book club so I am looking forward to it.

As always thank you all for being such an important and cherished support network for me. 

[Shaz51]

Sounds like a positive step forward to being involved @Healandlove 

My husband wants me to be with his meetings all the time , 

At first felt strange and wanted to cry but now it is different but he has improved in some areas but then he could be back in hospital tomorrow 

Yes my husband wants to stay home , does not want to go anywhere 

So very quiet here , D1 is coming to visit today sometime 

[Healandlove]

@Shaz51 , oh it must be an emotional toll to be in all meetings with your husband.  You are so strong and brave to do this and it is good to see that you have reached the point of being OK so as to not need to cry.

It must be very hard having to stay home all the time. Do you get a chance to have some "me" time? 

Today we had Easter Friday dinner and as a support person I tried my best to carry on although we couldn't be with the extended family. My husband on the other hand mopped around and was distant. I am guessing he has guilt, shame and other things that get amplified during these times. It is exhausting for me as I have to be the one holding the family together emotionally. For the most part I was OK but as the day end and he retreats emotionally I just want to cry. Sometimes it feels too much and too hard. I hope I can hang in there. 

Sending you hugs and love ❤️.  

[Shaz51]

Morning @Healandlove 

Ohh I still have tears at the meetings 

I go and visit my mum in hospital every second day 

And also we work together,  a 2 hour job a day is enough for us both now , so I do my jobs and he does his 

With your day yesterday,  I think your husband was feeling bad because you were feeling sad and he was beating himself up inside 

Sending you lots of understanding hugs as we don't get invited to family things anymore

but I have a couple of family members keep in touch by messages

[Healandlove]

@Shaz51 , thank you so much for your kind and understanding words. I guess it is so hard for people with cptsd to understand that in moments like this, the best thing to do is to come closer, hug, cry together,  be vulnerable...That would make such a world of difference for me. My husband has his moments of vulnerability but they are far and few between.  

I am sorry you have also been outcasted from family.  It's really hard. I am glad that you still have some supportive family members that still keep in touch.

Also sending you hugs 🫂 🤗 ❤️