Lived Experience Forum

[MDT]

Catch22 @saltandpepper
Being bust isn't stopping that
Being discontented with who I am as a human is

[MDT]

K @TAB

[saltandpepper]

Being busy makes us tired and crazed though. Take it from someone who is literally never busy and has no idea what it's like juggling 2 jobs and uni and a social life. I can't even do just 1 of those things properly. If I tried to do everything you do I'd just be this useless blob flopping around on the floor like a fish out of water. 

Getting knocked back can shake you, I hear that. But you shouldn't let chicks have you doubting yourself, you know? You've got so much going for you, don't be hard on yourself, you don't deserve that @MDT 

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Watch movie Catch 22 @MDT

[MDT]

"But you shouldn't let chicks have you doubting yourself"

Cut. Paste. Print.

I agree 100% @saltandpepper
You know why i agree so much? Because so much of modern culture is shallow. I hate to say it but it is true,

I joined a self help facebook group recently about dating. Made some posts and its interesting to read others thoughts on the topic.

You are a wise man my friend

[saltandpepper]

I mean I did just get dumped like last weeks trash after 10 years, so, take my relationship insights with a grain of salt haha

@MDT it's also not just applicable to women, but everyone Hams. No one should ever have that kind of power over you, you know?

Dating is hard man. Trying to find someone who you gel with enough that not only can you stand to be around but someone who you actually enjoy being around--thats a tall order if you think about it. Everyone is unique, different. I guess some people will compromise their sense of self to be in a relationship, but would that work long term? Would they be happy?

And I wanna say, in the nicest most polite way possible Hams. You think too much for your own good. Over analysing and picking yourself apart. Feeling like there's something wrong with you 'cause some girls weren't interested. Well maybe it's not about you being wrong for them, maybe its about them being the ones that aren't right for you. We're not made to fit together neatly with everyone we come across. It doesn't mean anyone is wrong, just means we are all different.

I'm glad you've reached out for more support with the FB group and hope it continues to be helpful for you

[MDT]

Again I agree with it all @saltandpepper
I maintain no one is an expert on this topic. We are only experts on our own experience.

I agree that I think a lot. But at the end of the day that's how it is. I also think that's why I haven't found it easy in the dating market. People say I should based on traits, looks etc. But I think there's so much more to it. And modern culture and society is at a loss to me. I honestly find so much of it hard to digest. People are getting changed in ways they don't know by tech.

I guess I am happy you know. Deep down - i haven't changed for the sake of others.

I think things are changing though. For the better. In terms of my life trajectory and the changes that have been taking place. I think that's still in progress aye. That's why I feel better about myself actually. I'm finally in control. No longer in the shite role I was once.

I just gotta keep going. Its like a plane that finally takes off after problems and then has to keep going with the momentum.

I remember having this discussion with my psych actually.

Anyway its late so I gotta go to bed.

Catch you tomorrow

[saltandpepper]

@MDT being thoughtful is a good quality, but it can also get in the way. I don't mean that it's a fault or anything that should change. But perhaps a bit more awareness of it when you're in those social situations might help? So you can sort of acknowledge the thoughts as they come up but address them later so they don't get in the way. You know you tend to overthink things, but it's not the end all. You can be a thoughtful person and not let it get in the way of what you want. Having your cake and eating it too so to speak. Just takes a bit of discipline and practice. Does that make any sense?

Yeah I'm with you re the tech shit. I don't actually personally know anyone who isn't glued to their phone. I've never been a tech person. At least not in the way where it seems to be an addiction for people. And yeah, as I said before it makes it too easy for people to be pri*ks and never understand the consequences of what they've done. It was actually a massive issue for me with my ex too. Just living with someone who is constantly on their phone chatting away to the rest of the world or mindlessly scrolling through Facebook for the 467th time in a day. Very hard to be in a relationship with someone that can't unplug. I'm just not that way inclined. Only reason I even social media is for work purposes, and its a blo*dy chore I tell ya.

Changes in life are good @MDT if nothing changes you're not moving forward hey? And you should be damn proud of yourself for sticking to your guns.

Get a good rest, hope you wake up tomorrow feeling a bit more hopeful with it all. You're a good bloke, good things will come your way, I'm sure of it.

[MDT]

Thanks again @saltandpepper

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Sorry about posts @MDT  dunno what was going on there. Hope you are okay today