Asking for help makes me feel awful

[Autumn-leaves]

I have had a rough time lately and have had to ask my spouse to come home from work today because I'm so at the end of my rope in ever way.

I hate the feeling of knowing I'm not coping as a stay at home mum to my toddler and that I'm failing us as a family. I've had to get him to come home quite a few times over the last 6 months and it absolutely breaks my spirit... I feel like I'm letting everyone down and that I'm a useless waste of space sometimes. 

Ugh 😣 

[rav3n]

hey @Autumn-leaves,

sounds like you've been having a really tough time, i'm sorry to hear how overwhelming its been. i'm so so glad you've reached out here.

i know it's hard not to feel guilty, but it sounds like you really needed that support and calling your spouse home to provide you that must've taken a lot of strength to do. it's not always easy reaching out for support, especially from family members - but you are allowed to lean on them. you are not letting people down by reaching out, we all need some extra support at times. you're only human so please do be kind to yourself. i reckon that you'd provide your spouse with the same care too if the situation were switched?

reaching out again and again doesn't lessen your worth. you deserve to be heard and supported. do you have others in your support circle you can lean on as well, like professionals (i.e psychologist, GP, etc)?

[SillySausage]

G'day @Autumn-leaves,

I remember one of my oppo's and superior saying to me "I don't care how badly you F'd up, I care about how well you recover from that F up so that I know your not gonna do it again!" That always stuck with me, because I have a tendency to berate myself when I make a mistake which puts me in a place where I'm way more likely to make another one.

Point being, don't get stuck chasing your tail! I'm not for a second suggesting you are making mistakes, but go to the GP, tell them it's been like this for over six months (which meets the time criteria for a diagnosis of something) and discuss your options. Remember not all GP's are built the same either, so keep trying until you feel like you're moving forward.

Chin up, forgive yourself for being human with all the flaws that we all suffer from, be recovery focused, and know that the future is written by you.

If you're not sure how to take the next step forward, you can message me or anyone on here ok.

God bless.

[SillySausage]

Hi @Autumn-leaves,

I read your other post about complex PTSD and realised that you have definitely taken the first step. I tend to look at these posts through the lens of a person searching for help and not knowing where to start. 

I come on here to try and help others because it helps me to feel useful and a bit better about myself. So it isn't as self-less as it seems. You have helped me by sharing your experience in life and allowing me to have a crack at helping you out. We all need each other in this world, some don't recognise it for various reasons, but even as you say that you feel "useless" you have still achieved something positive, you have become part of my experience in life, so thank you.

God bless.

[Autumn-leaves]

I really appreciated your first response regardless, it made me feel like I'm on the right track at least with the steps I've taken so far - I find alot of comfort in that 🙂. Thanks for taking the time to respond to me. It feels like a lonely existence at times with how difficult it is to communicate whats happening with me to my loved ones... I guess all part of the journey and the growth. Just trying to stay in the fight and keep putting one foot in front of the other! God bless you too.