Feeling so alone

[Freedom1843]

Hi everyone,

I don’t even know where to start.. I have been with my husband for nearly 6 years married for 3, we’ve always had an up and down relationship. He suffers from mental health problems due from childhood trauma. 
Lately, I have been feeling so alone and crave time by myself. 
I feel like I’m doing everything by myself, it’s getting to the point where I feel like his personal maid and baby sitter. (He has full custody of his son from previous relationship) 

I just don’t know what to do, every time I bring up what’s bothering me it’s always “I’ll do better” or “tell me what to do” but when I’ve genuinely had enough and say that I want to leave, I get the silent treatment and sad eyes which makes me not go through with it.

should I stick it out? 

thanks

[snowflake231]

Have you tried marriage counselling? 

[Freedom1843]

No, haven’t tried marriage counseling 

[Semly]

Hi @Freedom1843 

It’s so good that you’re here. 
I’m so sorry to hear about how hard it’s been. I won’t try to tell you what to do, but I see how hard you’ve had to work to get this far.

I also have looked after my husband when his mental health has been suffering, and done all the parenting for that time, and it’s heavy to do.

But in our relationship it’s me who has mental health struggles more consistently and repeatedly. And when it’s hard for him because I’m in a bad place and I’m super hard work to live with, and he gets sad or angry or frustrated, I do immediately say “I’ll do better!!”, even when I have no idea how I will do better. 
Feeling alone is so painful. I wonder if there are any avenues out there for you to talk this over with someone?

I’ll be thinking of you today, and hope the day feels a bit better while you filter through your options - or don’t, and come back to the thinking and decision-making a bit later.

🌸

[snowflake231]

Might be an idea to explore that before it gets worse. 

[GardensHeart]

Hi @Freedom1843 ,

We wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you to the forums.

We hope that you find the forums a great place to connect with other members, share stories and ideas, and find the support and connection you deserve.

Relationship can be tricky to manage, not to mention adding mental health into the mix. Hopefully our members here can help you understand the situation better and help you get some ideas on what you can do. 

We look forward to seeing you around on the forums!

[Shaz51]

Hello @Freedom1843 

my Husband suffers from mental health problems

and I am step mum to his 4 children who are adults now with mental health problems

I have felt like you in lots of ways, and sometimes we need to be aware of carers burnout 

we have a thread called Coping Toolbox ( what is in yours to help you cope ) that you can click onto and have a read xx

Do you have and interests or hobbies or things that you like to do 

It is so important for us to look after ourselves to be able to look after others 

I like sitting outside with a cuppa ( when it is not raining )

@Healandlove , @Semly , @snowflake231 , @GardensHeart , @Ru-bee , @Jynx