Lived Experience Forum

[LostAngel]

Hi Everyone Ill tag @Snowie and @Former-Member in this one as it relates to two other previous Threads of mine in recent weeks and it relates to self growth as well as special someone but at the same time ok well its obviously personal but this is a safe space to share, basically things went from being slow to very fast physically and emotionally in a matter of hours last night at 2am I did something that usually is reserved for sorry to sound sterotypical but whats only reserved for risk taking and experimenting teenagers but yes anyway I snuck out of house at 2am to meet special someone we went back to mine and things got very exciting very fast I wont go into too much detail but basically we had a wonderfull spur of the moment romantic night together,I went places with him that Ive never been before and I felt free it gave me a sense of absolute freedom with him,the more I trusted myself and the more I trusted him and the more I let him in emotionally and allowed myself to choose to be vulnrable with someone on such a deep level the more I found freedom and Peace and security and just everything exploded,my emotions exploded to the point I felt as if I could do anything,laying in his arms was pure bliss,his constant care ,concern and encouragement helped me to brek free from at least not every fear but we at least conquered some of my fears and also I think we conquered his fear too it was like we helped to conquer each others fear or at least we are starting to and it was amazing we trusted each other and the more we trusted eachother the stronger we became as a couple it did wonders for me helped bring me out of my comfort zone,it was so spur of the moment unexpected but so needed and that as they say is history.I feel so much better and also amazed at how things have turned around for the better,it all started with me reaching out to him emotionally.

[saltandpepper]

I'll take 2 of whatever you had thanks @LostAngel 🙃

[LostAngel]

@saltandpepper no comment lol

[SJT63]

@LostAngel that is what it was like when I first met Mr S

It isn't like that now, but he is very sick. I hope it will be again some day.

[Snowie]

@LostAngel glad it all went well for you 💌💌💌

[saltandpepper]

Bugger @LostAngel haha but sounded like an awesome night, glad you enjoyed yourself 👍

[LostAngel]

of course that is only one part of the dynamic between me and special someone,things take emotional work lots of work especially on my end but Im trying to be consistent without being clingy emotional work is so hard for me but Im trying for him just as long as I try to keep level headed and do things gradually in terms of communication slow and steady as I dont wont to overwhelm him with too much info at once and also cause our dynamic is not the average dynamic its a dom sub scenario which is freeing and not the typical conventional relationship but I like it that way the unconventional ,surprising ,spur of the moment dynamic like anything it is a delicate dance of give and take I do see him as my equal which makes me willing to put in effort but I need to be carefull not to over do the effort either as I dont want to go from being distant to clingy,need to keep things well measured in general everyday conversations but always be ready for the wild side of togetherness at any moment,it takes patience,calmness and adjustability,in short like anything else worth having in life it takes work but also boundaries and mutual respect,you see in my everyday life Im pretty much too used to being a control freak but in the special someone dynamic Im the sub so its like I have two opposite roles and honestly sometimes I wonder if I have a split personality of some sort but anyway its freeing to be able to let go rather to be in control,but then I go back to the everyday of back in control but then it is creating a kind of ballance in my life to have a space of letting go and a space of holding things together,needless to say its a juggling act to fullfill both roles interchangably but its well worth it for sure its worth trying new things and learning and growing or else nothing would change for the better its like a caterpillar finally growing wings to turn into a beautifull butterfly more peacefull and more complete instead of staying stressed and empty

[Former-Member]

@LostAngel  Well done for trying to not be clingy and keeping it slow and steady.

Being full on can scare off the other person before they have truly got to know and love you. One step at a time 🌺🐛

[LostAngel]

thank you @Former-Member