loss

[Etam]

Hello everyone  - this is the fiftieth year that my first child a stillborn son at 8mths passed.  Women never seem to forget. Iam fortunate with two wonderful professional daughters born five years after his loss 

However the month of March is always a little difficult emotionally.

My little son was almost 8mths gestation and dearly longed for. I named him Darius (a Persian King) as my husband was Persian.

The day was the 14th of March all those years ago.  I'd be pleased to hear from anyone else who had a similar experience  - and went on to live their lives as best and fruitfully as WE can. Thankyou and Bless you.🙏  ETAM   

[tyme]

Hey @Etam ,

Thank you for sharing your story. It is certainly so powerful to hear of your experiences. Those memories are forever cherished as you face each March. 

I don't have personal experience, but I look forward to hearing the community's responses.

Do you do anything to 'celebrate'/'commemorate' each year?

[Till23]

Hi @Etam @tyme (might need a trigger warning I don’t know how to do that)

It’s 45 years for me, but the circumstances were very different.

Content/trigger warning

Unfortunately the child was not conceived consensually I was young and pregnancy ended due to intervention by perpetrator (not medically). However, after decades of just locking it away in my brain and trying to keep moving forward one step at a time. I finally did a kind of memorial/laying to rest ceremony a couple of years ago with psychological help by psychologist. I have never had any children. I think having done the ceremony has helped. I find the month of loss difficult still, but somehow it’s not as bad.

[tyme]

Thank you so much for sharing @Till23 . It sounds like it was a very difficult situation for you.

It makes a lot of sense that 'laying them to rest' was also a rest for you.

Hugs

[Till23]

Yes @tyme it’s the most difficult part of my story and I waited 43 years to mention it to anyone. Until then only the perpetrator and I knew. The perpetrator is dead so it could have been unacknowledged, but I didn’t want there to be nothing as though it never happened.

 I was satisfied with the ceremony which contained traditional elements and occurred on a cool evening on the night of the loss but decades later. 

I hope you are recovering well from shingles and looking after yourself @tyme 

[ArraDreaming]

I’m so sorry @Etam 💚