Not Coping

[ArraDreaming]

Yeh, it doesn’t hang around as much as it used it when it comes to being anxious around work @Birdofparadise8

[Birdofparadise8]

Good to hear @ArraDreaming 

[Birdofparadise8]

Hey, anyone around?

[Birdofparadise8]

Hey @ArraDreaming @creative_writer @Shaz51 @Snowie @tyme @ENKELI @Bow 

How is everyone today? 

I had an appointment with my Pdoc this morning, which went well. He is writing back to my GP for a sleep study for why I can't get to sleep and why, even though after sufficient sleep, I'm still very tired in the day. 

After that, I had a uni class. 

Now I've just got back from my psych. That went well, I guess. He challenges me so much. He is still confused about my sadness, though. I just don't know how to explain it. I'm sad. We talked about what happened on the weekend with the games night, so that was good for breaking things down more. 

Before the session, I thought there was a code lock, and I entered the code, but the door would never open, so today, my appointment was at 1:45, and I was waiting out the front because I assumed the person would just come out at the time. Anyway, time kept going, and it was 2 pm, so I sent him an email. I'm out in the front. I think they were in the process of paying, so that's why he saw it. I thought he would have known that because it also happened last time. I actually thought he wasn't there until he came out. I really thought he just wasn't there, and I was getting ready to leave and go home and cry. Well, he didn't, and I didn't leave. I would have waited a bit longer before leaving. He thought I wasn't there. So, he had a longer session with the person before me. Ahhh, it's a bit annoying. Then we went to the lock pad, and I found out you just have to push the bloody door and not open it with the handle. Well, at least I know for next week. 

Now I'm making a carrot cake for my dad's birthday (it was the 1st of March) as Mum and Dad are coming to Melbourne tomorrow for the AFL. 

Then I have my last uni class for the day. 

So much to do. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 hey there.

I loaned my laptop to my brother so have not been online much for the past week.

Life is the same as usual, had my appointment with job service provider so I know what I have to do to remain eligible for centrelink. It went well, my consultant is nice.

Had a good time on Saturday at the quiz night, we came in 5th I think. I won a bottle of wine which we thought was funny because I rarely drink alcohol.

You sound busy today. Not a bad thing because it will keep you occupied. Better that than lying in bed all day trying to think of a reason to get up.

Hope you're doing okay x

[Birdofparadise8]

Ah okay. You know you can access the forums on your phone @ENKELI 

That's good you get Centrelink. 

I just reached the concession safety net, so my Pdoc appointment was $395, and Mum will get back $310. 

That's so good. 

Yes, very busy. 

I'm feeling quite down right now. I've just sat down on my own for the first time today. I now want to cry. It's like the sadness has just come over stronger. Oh, I'm not good. As I continue to write I'm feeling worse. I don't know what's wrong with me. 

@ENKELI 😭😩 It's like so much pain has taken over. 

I'm also not sure I'm going to be able to make it to my next class as I have the cake in the oven, and I'm not sure it's going to be cooked in time. 

[creative_writer]

Hi @Birdofparadise8 I read through your post but nothing is coming to mind. Sending you hugs 🫂

[Birdofparadise8]

All good, thanks @creative_writer 

I hope you're okay. 

[ENKELI]

yeah I have my phone and tablet I can use, I just find it easier on my laptop @Birdofparadise8 

Plus I had nothing of interest to say.

Are you able to attend your class late? 

Still got the sads huh? I wonder what causes it. It usually happens when you're on your own right?

Be kind to yourself, don't put extra pressure on yourself x

[Birdofparadise8]

It's only about lab report writing, which I already know how to do. 

Oh, okay, well, I'm always here to talk, as you know. 

I'm always sad. I have depression. It's literally just gotten worse in the past little while. I really don't know. I'm in the living room, trying to keep myself together. It's like I've gone from about a 4 to 8 in a few minutes. @ENKELI 

I'm sorry if I annoy you when I tag you when you don't want to be on here. Just let me know if you want me to stop taging you.