Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

Aww, you are making me cry in such a good way @ENKELI 

That is so sweet of you to say that. I wish I could give you a massive hug. 

We are growing all around yay!!

I'll say one thing. I know you sometimes retreat when you are struggling, but you can come to me like I can come to you. I do hope you know that. There needs to be a level of give and take and I don't want to feel like I'm just taking from you. 

That's okay, @Former-Member. I really do get where you're coming from. 

Okay, summaries, maybe I should try that. Thank you. 

Yes, basically, the learning objectives are the key. 

I thought that was good. I'm usually pretty quick with those types of things. My psych before my current one said EMDR is very hard and she would put her hat off for anyone who would do it. 

My current psych has done it. 

I wish you the best of luck in doing that. I'm sure you will do great. Are you studying part-time?

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 thanks princess, it's nice to know I have people to chat to.

I am trying to unlearn retreating into myself. It's something that began when I first met my ex friend. She was always leaning on me and when I wanted to share something she would turn the conversation back to her.

Any time I tried to talk she would turn the subject back to her and anything private I told in her confidence was shared with her family. 

I am learning to trust again, aside from parents and brother I only have 1 person I trust completely. 

Right now I'm feeling mixed up because I want to write to my ex friend but worry I won't get a reply.

And yes I know I mention her a lot but until get closure I don't think I'll ever be able to move on. 

[Birdofparadise8]

That's okay @ENKELI 

Ah, that makes sense. I can see why you would do that. It's hard when you try to talk to someone, and then they just keep making it about themselves. I really feel for you. 

Oh, that's definitely not good. She would share things. I'm so sorry. 

That's good you have another person to trust. Is it the cat lady?

Ah, okay. I'm not sure what to say about the letter. If you are either mailing it or putting it in her mailbox, I'd say print it and get someone else to write on the envelope so it's not your handwriting. Then you will wonder why she hasn't replied, and that might make you upset. Then again, if you don't say anything, you will wonder if you had sent the letter, would she reply? 

I'm sorry, but that probably doesn't help you. There are so many variables that could happen. I just hope you choose the best for you and don't get hurt in the process. 

I'm here for you either way. It's okay. I always like closure to move on, but sometimes in life, we may never get the closer we need, and I have recently had to accept that. I know how hard that is. I have mentioned many things I didn't want to accept, but I have. 

I hope that's okay, @ENKELI. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 what you've said makes perfect sense. I had thought about getting someone else to write on the envelope too so I'm glad you agree with that idea.

Yes, Jayne (not real name)is my crazy cat lady friend. Our mums both worked for what is now Telstra. We had just moved to the west and Jayne was my first friend. When mum moved us to Perth, Jayne and her mum also moved a couple of years later and we've been friends ever since. I might get her to write other envelope. 

What are you doing now? I'm watching 90 Day Fiance the Other Way! Nearly finished the diamond painting and I had leftover lamb casserole for dinner.

What are you doing tomorrow?

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Birdofparadise8 🙂🌺🤗

I hope the summaries do help ☺️

Yes I’m studying part time, so I can maintain time for all the other stuff I like to do, as well as have time to see the docs 🙂

so EMDR worked well for you? 🌺

EMDR does sound complex to learn, from what the psychologist mentioned today, however I’ll give it my best and see if I can do it when I’m finished uni 🌺🙂 

[Birdofparadise8]

That's good. I hope it was helpful @ENKELI 

I'm happy you have a friend you can trust 100%. I don't have that (YET). 

I just washed up and I'm going to sit on here for a bit longer and watch Greys Anatomy and Station 19. 

I will have a call with a group from uni about an upcoming group assignment. 

I will study for exams. 

You?

That's good. Yes, you would need to do it with medical things. 

Oh no, I haven't done it. The first just said it's hard to learn. Currently, we have talked about it, but I don't get flashbacks, and I can't vividly picture what's happening anyway. @Former-Member 

You'll do great. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 I like how you said you don't have a friend like that YET. You will. Jayne and I weren't always close, she lived in the UK for 8 years and it is only since she came back when her mum passed away that we grew close again. We were besties growing up and then went our separate ways in our 20s. We'd still catch up but weren't really close. Although it took her mum dying, it has made our friendship incredibly special. 

While I'm in sorting/cleaning mood I'll probably rearrange my living room. I want to put the couch outside as it is really old and uncomfortable and get the couch from the formal sitting room to replace it. So it will involve a lot of cleaning etc but I've got my tablet open and will be checking in on the forum if you need me.

I wish there was a way to have a real time messenger for the forums sometimes. When it starts getting late I worry I might have missed you.

@Former-Member how are you going? I hope you have a lovely evening and get a good night's sleep. Feel free to reach out if ever I can be of assistance 🥰

[Birdofparadise8]

Yes, I thought it would be a positive thing to add. 

Well, even though the circumstances are sad, I'm happy you are friends again. 

Don't you love it when you're in a cleaning mood? 

I'll be leaving soon @ENKELI at 10 pm. 

I know. I wish we had that, too. Real time messages would be so good. 

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you worry last night? Or do you mean in general? 

[Former-Member]

Ah, I see @Birdofparadise8 🙂🌺

Yes, the psychologist I spoke with today said it works well with imagery… I really should do some reading about it ☺️

Thank you - I really appreciate that 💜🌺🙂

[Birdofparadise8]

All good happy to assist. I'm sure you'll find some good peer-reviewed articles on it @Former-Member 

The psych is that your psych or someone else?