Not Coping

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 are you able to ask your psych to up the number of visits per week? It's not good that you only feel good for a little while and then are back to the beginning again straight after seeing him. Have you mentioned that to him?

I saw something about Dr Death being on 7plus, I'll have to double check because I don't have Stan.

I have Foxtel and Netflix and if I manage to plug the cable in correctly, free to air TV!

Yeah guys are like that. I'm not sure it changes much until they reach old age ha ha ha! My brother works with a guy who's in his 30's and it's all he talks about.

I think when I realised I was never going to have kids I gave up bothering with dating. The only thing I miss about having a boyfriend is having someone to pay for your dinner lol! No, it would be nice to have a friend to go out with. I used to have a mate like that but then he got a partner and I haven't seen him in ages.

I would like to be able to find a friends group to spend time with. Unfortunately I lost a few friends due to issues with ex friend. 

Are you having salad or veg with the chicken schnitzel?

[Birdofparadise8]

My parents wouldn't be able to afford it twice a week, and he also only works Wednesday to Friday, so it wouldn't work. I sometimes struggle even after the session, depending on our conversation. No, I haven't mentioned it before. Why do you ask?

Ah, okay, I hope you get to watch it then. Lol, that's funny. Isn't the tv always plugged in? Talks about the body part or being immature? My dad is 56 and is still immature sometimes. Hey, maybe they have the brunch thing, as I did in Melbourne. We are going to the zoo next week. 

I'll have vegetables @ENKELI. I'm in the lounge room, so I am less likely to cry. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, though. What do you think? Like, I don't want to internalise how I'm feeling, but I also don't want to feel it simultaneously. 

[Former-Member]

Yeah, feeling like something is missing is a hard thing to sit with @Birdofparadise8 ❤️‍🩹🫂🌺

I wish there was an easy answer, however through the last 50+ years I’ve been hanging around, I haven’t found something that fills that place of need for comfort in my soul, except for knowing I am enough as a person, have value, and are worth something to myself and the world for what I have to offer in sharing and caring about others. 
Im sorry to say that dearest, however I’d rather be honest than say anything different 🌺💜

Having said that, not everybody has the same experience as me, and some people do find something that fills that place 🙂🌺

..side note: I readily admit that I’m a loner, and find it hard to get close to people.. 😉🌺

I think an intro of 350 is ok - it’s very important to include all the key parameters of the report here, and it’s often the hardest part to write because of this. 
however I think it’s also a good idea to ask your group members how many words they are writing, as well as key points from their part of the project, to ensure your intro really reflects the entire content.. if you haven’t already, which I’m sure you’ve done ☺️🌺

[Birdofparadise8]

Oh okay @Former-Member 

"I am enough as a person, have value, and are worth something to myself and the world." I don't feel like that at all. I feel the complete opposite. Well, it looks like I'll be feeling like this forever: empty, alone, hopeless and sad. 

I can't they haven't all done their part yet. I might wait and see if I can add some more. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 all good. I was just wondering if you'd mentioned to your psych how you felt but as you say you only have the option of once a week and with his working hours it would be pointless.

One thing that helps my loneliness is my faith. For the most part my faith keeps me optimistic, it's only when I am really struggling that I have an emptiness and it's usually then that I turn away from my faith when I should be doing the opposite. To each their own and I would never proselytise on an open forum like this about what you should and shouldn't believe.

It makes me sad that you are so sad though, you should be looking forward to the future and what you're going to do when you're older. Is there anything we can do to help right at this minute? I don't like that you are trying not to cry. As you know I tend to hide away and suppress my feelings which is sort of what you're doing by sitting in the lounge room, but then the other option is to sit in your room and cry. What does your psych say about it?

[Former-Member]

I’m sorry you feel that way @Birdofparadise8 💜🌺

it took me years to figure out that I was enough.. and there are days still that I don’t feel quite like I’ve made it, however I have known other people who do feel like they have gotten to that place of comfort 💜🌺

Ok, yes that sounds like a good idea regarding the assignment 🙂🌺

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah excactly @ENKELI 

I am catholic and all, but I have mixed feelings about it all. 

I know I should be looking forward to the future, but I just can't. There is no point. 

I don't know you being here is more than enough. I have no clue what the best thing to do is. No, I haven't asked him about that either. Please don't be sad because of me. I don't want to make you feel bad. I'm so sorry. 

Thank you @Former-Member, well I'm pleased you have those good feelings about yourself. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 don't apologise princess. If someone you cared about was hurting you would feel sad for them right? It's the same way I feel about you feeling down. 

Have you had dinner yet? I just saw the time and thought, gosh you'd be hungry if you haven't! Fortunately all I have to do is put the schnitzels in the oven and cook the veg.

What do you have on tomorrow?

I have an appointment at 1pm and that's about it.

[Birdofparadise8]

Okay, that is fair when you say that @ENKELI 

I'm just about to finish cooking now. I had a late lunch. 

I have a thing at uni for some research stuff, which goes from 9:30 to 2, and then I have a job interview at 3 pm. 

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member it is true that marriage shouldn’t have an age, it’s probably just comes down to cultural expectations. Some cultures are obsessed with lavish marriages and pressurise people to marry someone they may not feel comfortable marrying or may not feel ready. I need to be in a good place when having kids, my mum’s mental health affected mine when I was growing up.

I just have two conflicting views of myself, on one hand I believe it’s my fault and on the other I know logically I am not to blame. I just hope with time I can make the later one stronger.

I am sorry to hear about the loss of the special person in your life. Loss is very hard 💖🫂