I can’t cope

[Jynx]

@Captain24 

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@Captain24 wrote:

I’ve been trying to do something everyday even if it’s just a little task or two. I dont think there has been a day when I haven’t done anything. 

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Wow!! I hope you understand what an amazing achievement this is!! I am SO PROUD of you! Hope you're proud of you too, this is something worth celebrating. 🎉😍💯

Aww lil Pix with her lil cutie snoot, all covered in hot chip salt!! Teehee she is gonna have a blast!! If you happen to snap any pics feel free to share!! Did I send you the latest Razz and Trixie? Or did I send them to someone else last night... 🤔 

[Captain24]

I do it so I feel like I have at least done something but also to try and be accepted as recovery focused when not much else is saying so. @Jynx. It has been really hard to even do one thing in some days. I guess it is something to be proud of. Pushing through, the only thing is I reward myself with bed. But I usually sleep when I’m there anyway. 

They do have fun on each others birthdays. I will take heaps of photos. It’s hard to get good ones as they won’t sit in front of the cake with the candle properly!  I guess it’s cause they’re dogs not kids. 😜 

You did send me them all dressed up! 

Did you know my dogs have middle names? 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 the bonus part is that even if you don't 100% believe the words as you say/write them, saying/writing them still has power. The more you do it, the more true it becomes. That's literally how propaganda works - saturating people with a message so much they begin to believe it. Be your own propaganda machine!! Gaslight yourself into loving yourself! Hahaha

Teehee I expect many blurry fuzzballs 😝

What? no!! Is that like how Trixie's full name is Trixie Von Treat and Razz is Razzamatazz, the ol' Razzle Dazzle? 

Snapped this pic of Razz spying on my neighbour this morning, lol

[Captain24]

I feel like I keep saying that I’m trying and it’s on repeat but it is me convincing myself I am. My psych always says that I am just by acknowledging any small change. @Jynx 

I’ll tag you when I post them but you won’t be on. I’ll probably post Wednesday night when I get home from work. 

Jett is just boring old Jett Black but my bestie that I got him off called him liquorice. Pix’s registered name (she is purebred) is Lady Pixie Dust. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. There really isn’t any point.. 😂 

Hows your day been? How’s the room sorting going? 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 that means I get to log onto PUPPY PICS next weekend, YIPPEE!

I mean... you remember that old kids book, the little engine that could? "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..."

The message is actually pretty important. Our most powerful tool is our mind. If you keep telling yourself you're trying, then try you shall continue to do! 

Aww Jett Black legit sounds like the name of a famous musician!! Love it! And Lady Pixie Dust is absolutely ICONIC!! She is a QUEEN! 👑

Ahhh you see, the 'point' is perhaps the greatest one of all - we're connecting!! My fav 😋

"How's the room sorting going?" 

HAHAHAHAHA 

Got any more jokes? 

LOL nah I just haven't had the right energy for it. I feel like I may need to call in a body double 😅

[Captain24]

I hope you find the notification. @Jynx. I won’t really be around next weekend as I’ll be on nightshift. 😢 

I do say to my self ‘I can do this’ but a lot of the time I fail. Oh. I cleaned that frypan! Only cause I need to use it to cook dinner. The other dishes are done too though. Plus I did another load of washing and hung it in the spare room. I also unpacked the dishwasher. It’s not much but it’s something! 

I’ve been eating healthily since last Sunday. Having a lot of veggies. I’m trying to make it a habit. 

I think their names are pretty cool. Im trying to make an effort after feeling like there’s been a disconnect. 

It does take the right kinda mood and energy. You’ll be able to do it when you are really ready. 

Not having the right energy are you ok? 

 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 I usually come pop into threads like yours anyway. But you know there's no rule against tagging me again if I happen to miss it!! 

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@Captain24 wrote:

I do say to my self ‘I can do this’ but a lot of the time I fail.

 

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Maybe you make mistakes or stuff it up, sure! You're only human haha. But if you didn't tell yourself you could, if instead you were like 'ugh I can't do this' then it's likely you wouldn't even try.

Heck yes!! Get those vegetables!! Haha on my shopping list this week is 'omg please buy fruit you need to eat some' 

The struggle is real! 

Aww hun!! Your efforts are noticed, your care is felt 😊 If ever you are concerned or feeling off about anything I hope this encourages you to be vocal about it!

Thanks hun, that means so much! I am ok, it really is just a combo of winter (I don't have SAD but I do have much lower energy reserves in the winter) plus a bajillion appts lately, plus the classic procrastination faeries fluttering about the place!

That pic is soooo wholesome 😍💜 ty ty

[Captain24]

I’ll defs tag you in them. I want you to see them. They won’t be very good though! 😜 @Jynx 

Im trying that self talk bullshit. The other night at work I wanted to go home early as I wasn’t ok but I said to myself ‘you got this’ and I stayed. When it got to the dishes today I was like ‘I can’t’ and then I went to bed. But I have done it now and packed it away after cooking my dinner! 

I should eat fruit but I don’t. The veggies are mostly frozen so I don’t waste them. I do have some fresh ones so I can bake some. Plus I have to make rissoles. I must say I do feel a little better health wise though. But my dietitian said my weight should reduce but it’s not. Eating all this food is doing things to that ED voice in my head. 

I was scared to say something as I was scared of upsetting you or scared you were rejecting me. My concern is that if you do reject me I want you to be straight up about it. I’d rather that than be left dangling. 

Im glad you are ok. I get the whole winter thing. It’s a bitch! Give me the sun and warmth any day. Oh.. all those appointments, I’m sure it feels as though all you’re doing is going somewhere. Yep.. procrastination.. know it well! 

Did you ever finish your board game? 

[Captain24]

Are you busy @Jynx. Or did I say something wrong? 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 100% it's cos I'm busy darlin, and not only that but flying solo, and managed to mess up/close a bunch of tabs. Did the same thing to creative_writer, I could have sworn I'd responded but apparently not!! My bad! 

Also been having keyboard troubles which has slowed my typing down so much that it's impacting my ability to respond as quickly!

Gimme two shakes and I will reply before I hop off for the night.