I can’t cope

[Jynx]

@Captain24 I am so glad to hear that your self-talk has been improving hun. It takes time, but it is far from impossible!! 

Fruit is hard hey. Lately I get a bag of frozen mixed berries and make a milkshake. The vanilla ice cream is definitely NOT healthy but it's better than no fruit at all imo! And weight loss is a funny thing - different for everyone and for every body. Don't give up hope! 

Hmm... board game board game... Nope I cannot remember what this is about? Yes, this happens a lot, where other people remember more about my life than I do!! So remind me what I've been up to in board game land? 😅

Hope you have a nice night hun, catch you tomorrow hopefully 😋

New Jynx hug just droppped!

 (つˆ⌣ˆ)つ

[Captain24]

It’s ok. It was stupid if me to ask @Jynx. It was the spicy one but I guess it’s really not my business anymore. 

[Jynx]

OH @Captain24 

Haha I forgot I told you about that.... 

Tomorrow 😉

[Captain24]

Spent another morning in bed. This time though it was because I was so tried. These last 2 weeks have worn me out so much. I’m exhausted. I’m drained. I’m weak. I’m lazy

I had things to do this morning but I just couldn’t do anything. I still need to go and buy Pix some toys for her birthday but the thought of leaving the house is too much. What if I see people? 

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Captain24 sounds like you've been needing the time to rest and recharge

When's Pix's birthday? How old is the cutie turning?

[Captain24]

Yes @Ru-bee. I really need some rest. It’s been a really hard slog. 

While I don’t feel safe and I’m still having really dark thoughts of what I should do and dark thoughts about myself, I can finally say that I’m safe. 

Pix is 6 on Wednesday. We are having a little birthday party tomorrow because I’ll be at work Wednesday and I have appointments on Tuesday so don’t have time. I’ve got to get her a couple of toys, some cupcakes, a card and a candle. We kinda go all out! Plus we have lunch and it’ll be hot chips cause they are her favourite! My dogs are a little bit spoilt! 

You're not usually here on a Sunday? 

[Ru-bee]

I'm glad that you're able to be safe right now, even with those thoughts @Captain24 

What a lucky girl Pix is! That sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun! 

Yes, this is the first weekend shift I've done so far! I've switched a few shifts around just for this weekend and next to cover the forums 😊 

[Captain24]

It’s nice to not have to fight for safety even though my thoughts aren't saying so. It’s the first time since Tuesday 2 weeks ago. @Ru-bee 

I just travelled 20 minutes away to buy toys for Pix’s birthday. I’m I bit silly. It is a lot of fun. All 3 dogs enjoy the cupcakes. I just buy the ones from the supermarket. 

It’s good to see you around. 

[Ru-bee]

It's nice to be here 😊 @Captain24 

I love it. I usually do something for my cats birthday like get them a new toy and their favourite treats, but I forgot Momo's birthday this year! It was in June and I'd even set a calendar reminder, I don't know how I missed it! Anyway I've been feeling guilty about it since even though I know she didn't notice 😂

[Captain24]

I get the guilty feeling @Ru-bee. I was looking at my calendar to see what appointments I had and when and Pix’s birthday came up. If I hadn’t have looked I would have missed it too! 

I nearly missed the anniversary of my old dogs death and I still feel guilty that I only thought of it that night.