Therapy without talking about trauma details

[creative_writer]

@Gwynn in terms of self care movement and crying can help. I also find writing poems helpful in processing emotions at a deeper level, journaling doesn’t cut it. I’ve had moments where I’ve called up helplines, but I’m not very good at that.

@Spirit_Healer I think a therapist who has experience and has some understanding with working with individuals from CALD communities is enough, even if they are the typical white Australian therapist. I totally get you on being respectful with parents. I’ve had moments where I’ve felt the pressure to need to listen to my parents even though it was hard and I felt their advice was to my own detriment. Culture encourages you to shove things under a rug and not talk about emotions. People care too much about their reputation. I don’t ever intend to go public about my MH struggles, but I don’t want to have to feel guilty for reaching out for support

[Gwynn]

I’m glad you’ve got something that helps. Sometimes a good cry can just be really helpful when you’ve got to bottle everything up to “keep the peace”. I’ve heard that bilateral and rhythmic movements can help with self soothing. 

[creative_writer]

@Gwynn I live in a shared house so I don’t really cry often, but it helps when I do. I am often too tired to cry in bed before going to sleep. Bilateral movements are also part of EMDR and have been shown to be effective for PTSD. Bilateral and 8D soundtracks can also be soothing for anxiety or ADHD

[IceSkater]

Really nice to meet you all ^_^

And thanks, @tacocat ! I'll consider doing an intro post soon

@Spirit_Healer @creative_writer I'm also a person of colour from a collectivist culture so can relate to your points above. A lot of it has manifested in terms of excessive guilt and responsibility I've taken on, and through therapy I've been unpacking all the different beliefs and things that were projected onto me so I can understand where it comes from, but it's so hard to resolve in terms of my choices and actions now.

It does sound like if things currently aren't working for you it's a good reason to try and find someone new. And ideally to be able to communicate with the therapist about what's helpful for you, but it is really hard to advocate for ourselves. I remember how much despair I felt during that period when things weren't working with my previous psych shortly after my traumatic event and the PTSD symptoms were persisting.

That's great a few sessions of EMDR helped you in the past -- do you think you would like to do more processing?

If it's helpful to know, I've got what we'd generally call single incident PTSD but with symptoms that are related to pre-existing / attachment related trauma, and have now been doing EMDR for about a year (not necessarily every session), so being able to do it longer term can help to unravel things.

And there was a specific instance when my psychologist reminded me that there isn't heaps of detail that she needs in order for us to start processing a memory.

I really hope things work out for you

[Spirit_Healer]

Thank you, @IceSkater , your description of your experience gives me hope!

[creative_writer]

@IceSkater I also hold a lot of guilt and responsibility. I feel like I’m responsible for my family’s wellbeing. In a ways I feel guilty going to therapy because I feel I’m talking about really personal stuff I shouldn’t be talking about. I can’t help but wonder and think that my parents don’t like the idea of me being open in therapy.

Maybe more EMDR would help, I don’t really know. Talking about things is only getting me so far. It does take a bit longer for EMDR to work for more complex trauma. My multiple traumas falls into the complex category.

Maybe every psych works differently. Maybe some want to be able to about trauma in more depth. I think it’s often hard for someone without PTSD to understand how hard it can be.

[IceSkater]

@creative_writer Sending hugs, I totally feel that with the wondering what my family would think. It’s hard when we have to erase parts of ourselves around them all the time – I’ve moved out of home but still feel pressured to visit a lot, and when I’m around in my parents’ place. Also, the way western psychology talks about boundaries is really challenging because I might have internal boundaries but then in family situations they get overstepped all the time and then there’s not much I can do about it. 

Yeah, what I find challenging about PTSD is how much it affects my ability to live / be in the present which is another reason talking about details over and over in the past can be unhelpful. 

[tyme]

Hi there @IceSkater @creative_writer ,

Great to see you.

[creative_writer]

@IceSkater some people don’t understand what boundaries are. I’ve had moments where I had to suppress parts of myself just to take my parents feel comfortable. It’s hard and exhausting.

@tyme I hope you are well.

I am having urges to do X, but if I do X I may not sleep well tonight. I need emotional relief. I’m safe

[Just]

@Spirit_Healer Hi, you have been doing it tough. Hope 2025 is a big turning point for u