yesterday
Seems like Iβm gonna be crying every night basically. Iβm not even joking seriously.
Canβt wait till Iβll be able to have a chat to my psychologist which will be on next Monday 30th Dec.
8 hours ago
Hi @Blackcloud
Im sorry you are struggling so much.
Is there any particular reason for the crying or is it just general pain?
Iβm here if you want a chat
7 hours ago
Hi @Captain24 its just that everytime I think about my mum telling me about her and my aunty wanting to assign me a male that I need to be in a relationship with before βitβs too lateβ (in her opinion) β unfortunately for her she considers early 20s to be the age where people (especially females) are supposed to be in a relationship and get married at as she was born and raised in a culture that pretty much does that? π
like my aunty is planning to assign a guy in our ethnic country to me either the year after or so as my mum did say that itβll happen in 2 or 3 years time that Iβd need to be in a relationshipβ¦
and everytime I think about that, as well as the fact that she considers starting a relationship βlaterβ than that particular age group to be βtoo lateβ. And yet whenever I told her I donβt ever wish or want to be in a relationship, she strongly opposes that decision because she wants me to be with someone who can like βlook after me even when I get oldβ and stuff like thatβ¦
I even told a few diffeeent mental health professionals (my counsellor and psychologist) about this issue as well like a few times already since itβs like I canβt seem to even get free from my mumβs expectations and valuesβ¦.like she totally took my freedom away already so thatβs why I always have to cry about it everytime I think about why I canβt have parents who donβt mind their kids being single regardless of their age and their reason/decision for itβ¦
fyi she first told me that my aunty wants to introduce me to a guy in our ethnic country back in august. But then soon after she told me that my aunty will find other guys there for me that I need to be with and that itβll happen within the nextv2-3 years when Iβll have to be with himβ¦and donβt worry theyβre males that are like 1 year older than me or at least 2 years older than me I hope
7 hours ago
@Captain24 I have so many things about this particular South East Asian culture (which is what I am) that I can criticise because of its traditional values and beliefs that my parents still hold to this dayβ¦and they canβt even accept the fact that these kinds of things have changed/become progressive in this world. And it seems that not all countries have started to accept the progressive ones either which is even more sad and messed up if u think about it. Especially when you belong to a culture thatβs that.
7 hours ago
Iβm so sorry that itβs being forced on you @Blackcloud. That must be so hard and confusing.
I understand that in some cultures itβs what is expected and obviously they still are deeply in bedded in that culture.
I donβt know what to say other than Iβm sitting with you in this.
For me Iβm in my late 40βs and still very much single. Iβm ok with that and prefer my life to stay that way.
6 hours ago
@Captain24 yeah so I continue to question myself every now and then βwhy was I even born into this culture for?β And even though my mum does know a lot about how much Iβm still struggling mentally and emotionally even the fact that Iβm someone that always struggles to maintain friendships and all that, she doesnβt even care at the end of the day. All she cares about is pushing her values onto her kids (well mainly me cause Iβm the only one thatβs verbal whereas my sister is non-verbal) just because those values are part of our culture and itβs something that in her eyes that we βhave to followβ..
5 hours ago
I do understand the questioning but in a different way @Blackcloud. I question why I was born into the family that I have. I call myself the white sheep of the family as they arenβt very nice people so I think of them as the black sheep.
So Iβm guessing your mum wonβt listen to your needs?
Is there anyway you can buck the culture? Or itβs just what it is?
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